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    08/03/2008

    終於熬到了月假。

    什麼狗屁月假。兩天而已。還是沾了三八婦女節的光。

    天空陰霾。導致心情陰霾。

     

    開始教兩個班。

    嫡系部隊的成員加起來才五人。鬱悶。

    新班級。新面孔。卻沒有新鮮的感覺。

    記住名字估計都要花上大半個學期。

    上個學期的親切感迷失了方向。

    戀舊的人看不清前面的風景。只是這樣的壞習慣改不掉。也不想改掉。

    該如何對待一些學生的疑問讓自己對自己也產生了疑問。

    太多的失望讓我開始思考放棄。

    有這樣的念頭。自己也覺得奇怪。

    也許是面對突然的反差和變化,一時間無法適應無法平衡。

    尤其是當某女開始念叨如今的23班的好時,就像自己被硬生生搶了孩子,無能為力,束手無策。只能看著眼急心疼。

    想想上學期23班的細伢們,也氣過也罵過,卻還都能耐下性子聽我嘮叨幾句,眼裏的印象都還是很乖的孩子。半年的時間,多少有感情。

    驟然的失去,一時間總會無法釋懷。

    But time cures all things

    無法釋懷的在時間面前也始終是無力的。

     

    變本加厲得累。自己的時間所剩無幾。

    自己的空間也被牢牢地固定在學校和宿舍的兩點一線間。

    一直在問自己是否這就是自己想要的生活。

    雖然答案必然一定確定肯定是否定的,但是明白現在的狀態也一定確定肯定是必然的。

    告訴自己要熬過這幾年。

     

    向以下幾位為女同志們表示節日的問候:

    寶媽。姐。PiPiSevenYaYaApplecatVirginiaMay& 咩。

    find myself starting to be sick of the world of adults

    a pity that nobody can go back

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